Expressing your emotions is OK

I'm conscious that I've been talking a lot about sex. In my life, sex is not a taboo, but the feelings surrounding it are often left unsaid.

Kas messaged me the day after we slept together. He reiterated that it was never going to be anything more than just friends with benefits, and it got me thinking "what is so wrong with me that it'll never be anything more?"

It left me feeling awful. The insecurities started creeping in, and it left me with that feeling that I was going to spend the rest of my life on my own. I don't think that depression ever really leaves you once you have suffered. It lets your mind wander and think the worst, and if you are not careful, the feeling stays.

I knew that I had to block Kas from my mind- it was 3 weeks before I would see him again, and it wasn't healthy to think in the way that I was. I don't want this to sound like I am blaming him, its my own insecurities that make me feel this way.

The problem is in fact, bigger than Kas, bigger than me even. Its about the way that women feel, how they react. Men seem to lack understanding that women feel differently to men - its not that they don't already know this, they just chose to ignore it. Women's emotions are fragile, they need reassurance, confidence, understanding. They need to talk about whats going on, how they feel. It appears to me that men actually don't need this -they just go with whatever is happening, and somehow block out their feelings. Occasionally they may say the right things, or make the grand gesture that you've always hoped for, but actually, what women need is consistency.

Whats more, men don't seem to comprehend that there is nothing wrong with showing how you feel. I've never understood why men bottle up when you are trying to tell them how you feel, or why they don't know what do do when you cry. Are emotional women so bad that your human instinct to give someone a hug flies out of the window?

For too long in society, women have been put down as these fragile emotional beings, but actually, the most fragile are the strongest. I am fortunate enough to know many strong women who I admire - but I also know them well enough to understand that underneath the powerful, confident fronts that quite often there is a broken woman underneath. I find it heartbreaking that to be respected you have to hide these emotions.

I understand that there is a time and a place, but I firmly believe that emotions and feelings are there to be expressed. I am not saying we should be running around telling every man or woman that we date that we are in love with them, but that we should feel free, and not scared, to tell them that we have strong feelings for them, or that we are excited about where a relationship is going, or in some cases, not.