High School Sweetheart

Its Friday night, and I sit alone in my flat. I'm too tired to do much this weekend. I'd promised people lots of things, and perhaps a little selfishly, didn't follow through on any of them. Christmas looms and at some point I have to do my Christmas shopping.

I log into Facebook -Technology is truly a marvelous thing. Suddenly being able to get in touch with so many people from the past is awesome. I look to see who is online. I start a conversation with Tom - someone I was at high school with.

You see - Tom wasn't just anyone - he was my first ever crush. I obsessed about him for two years at school. Boys wanted to be him, girls loved him. What was it that I liked about him? I don't know - I think it was because he was rebellious and cool - he played a guitar in a band and wasn't your standard pretty boy.

So conversation flows - he still lives where we were at school, is still in touch with a few of the people we were friends with, and seems to have done OK for himself.

I couldn't help but wonder if I still "wanted" him. Its been eight and a half years since I've seen him, but as soon as I saw he was online my heart did a little jump. Surely after all this time you cannot still want someone this much?

Hours pass - we move from facebook to msn like moving form the kitchen to the sofa - its kind of awkward but we want the night to continue. I attempt to flirt a little, but he doesn't seem to take the bait. He never was good at picking up on my subtle flirting.

I ask him to describe himself in three words - then and now. In 2000 when we left high school, he described himself as ignorant, loud and a mess, and now - wiser, quieter and empathetic. I would tend to agree - he seems much more chilled out, more considered and thoughtful. To me, that makes him even more intriguing.

At midnight the conversation ends - 8 years caught up on and getting to know each other all over again. It is certainly not how I expected to spend my Friday night, but none the less, it leaves me with a whole new list of questions in the hunt for Mr Right.